Extraordinary healing power! Fairechild's Office Yoga.

OFFICE YOGA: QUIZ

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As promised in Diana's OFFICE YOGA, here are the answers to the Quiz.

Question #1

What is yoga?
A. The yellow part of an egga.
B."Union with God" in Sanskrit.
C. The way to become a human pretzel.

Answer
A could be true, depending on your dialect. B is the correct answer, and you will understand this more deeply when you achieve the "bliss mist."
C could also be true, depending on your persistence.

Question #2

If you activate your perineum and umbilical (p.29) you will:
A. Starve.
B. Find a billfold connected to a cosmic bank account.
C. Have greater lung capacity.

Answer
A is false--you certainly won't starve, but you WILL look leaner.
B is esoterically correct. Yoga does create an energetic connection to our divine inheritance.
C is another correct answer.

Question #3

You are in a "bliss mist" (p.25) while in the Alarm Neutralizer (p.87) exercise. Suddenly the fire alarm in the building goes off. What should you do?
A. Ignore it. Your bliss is more important than the drill.
B. Activate your perineum and umbilical on the source of the flames.
C. Find an exit and get out.

Answer
A or C are correct. As to whether you should ignore the fire alarm or exit the building immediately, you need to follow your own gut feelings. No one can tell you how to live your life.
B--If you know how to activate the perineum and umbilical on the source of a flame, please contact me. I want to learn this esoteric practice.

Question #4

When your boss catches you doing Homage (p.77), you should say:
A. I'm begging for a raise.
B. I'm envisioning the rise in profits that will come from taking better care of myself.
C. I beg your pardon.

Answer
Whatever will keep you employed is the correct response. Be prepared!

Question #5

You're faced with four hours of audio transcription tasking, so what are the best Office Yoga exercises to prepare for this?
A. Rump? What Rump?
....Homage
....Hump? What Hump?
B. Toe Ups
....Hump? What hump?
....Pin Ups
C. Hump? What Hump?
....Toe Ups
....Thyroid Thrill

Answer
C is correct. The rigid form and repetitive, but constrained, hand and foot movements that accompany transcription tasking are best served by Hump? What Hump?, Toe Ups, and Thyroid Thrill. Pin Ups and Rump? What Rump are not yet Office Yoga poses.

Question #6

What is a yogi?
A. A close companion of a Boo-Boo.
B. An adult who wears a diaper.
C. A person who senses undercurrents and penetrates subtle energies.

Answer
A is an old cartoon character ("Hey, Boo-Boo!").
B refers to the traditional Indian loincloth.
C is correct. Yoga helps us to tap the source of subtle energies.

Question #7

Guess how many Office Yoga exercises are named after animals?
A. 1. Spider.
B. 2. Swan and frog.
C. 3. Rat, dragonfly, and cockroach.

Answer
A is incorrect because Spider is not an Office Yoga exercise though it is referenced in the chapter "A Yoga Adventure."
B is correct.
C is incorrect because, though dragonflies are charming, no one has named a posture after them or yuk! cockroaches.

Question #8

Which Office Yoga exercise could be mistaken for provocative body language?
A. Alarm Neutralizer (p.87).
B. Hump? What Hump? (p.57).
C. Thyroid Thrill (p.99).

Answer
A is the correct answer in case a co-worker hasn't already brought this to your attention. When you practice Alarm Neutralizer with other people around, be aware of the direction your butt is facing.

Question #9

What is the meaning of the term "Monolith of Mastery"?
A. A nickname for the home of Bill Gates.
B. An exercise to help gain physical balance.
C. A phrase that when said with a deep booming voice impresses women and frightens small children.

Answer
A may well be true, with state-of-the-art everything equipping the Bill Gates' castle.
B is the correct answer for the purpose of this Quiz.
C is also in the realm of possibilities.

Question #10

Which Office Yoga exercise (if you do it with your eyes open) will run you the risk of being given time off for mental health reasons?
A. All of them.
B. Focus Time (p.107).
C. Spider.

Answer
A is the correct answer, but never mind. There's always someone who's going to call you crazy when you follow the beat of your own drummer.
B is false because Focus Time can be done with the eyes closed, the eyes open, or the eyes wide shut.
C is incorrect because, as said before, Spider is not a part of the Office Yoga series.

Question #11

Which causes carpal tunnel syndrome?
A. Typing.
B. Pushing an airline beverage cart at 30,000 feet.
C. Burrowing in the sand for water.

Answer
All answers are correct. The carpal tunnel, a tiny tunnel inside the wrist, hurts when the tendons and nerves (which go through it) get swollen from certain repetitive tasking. Although repetitive wrist movements are the direct cause for CTS, it is believed that susceptibility is related to immune system damage caused by toxicity. In other words: eat right, exercise regularly, think good thoughts, drink a lot of water, and put the copy machine in the other room. It also helps to support the wrists when tasking and practice all Office Yoga exercises targeted for the shoulders, arms, and wrists. The bottom line is, get a grip on taking care of yourself.

Question #12

What is Sanskrit?
A. Writing with a stick on a sandy beach.
B. A woman's skirt that is only worn to the beach.
C. An ancient language from India.

Answer
A is not correct, though scrawling Sanskrit in the sand sounds like a transitory idea.
B implies a "sand skirt"--a fashion statement for which the time has not yet come.
C is correct.

Question #13

Which items on your desktop could injure you when you do Office Yoga?
A. The joystick for your video games.
B. Your automatic stapler.
C. Matches.

Answer
None of the answers are correct because you should not be mounting your desktop to practice Office Yoga.

Question #14

Which body parts may end up on your desktop--all at the same time--when you do Office Yoga?
A. Elbows, perineum, thyroid.
B. Achilles, palms, crown.
C. Aura, palms, fingertips.

Answer
A & B are incorrect. Remember that your perineum is at the base of your torso (p.29) and your thyroid (p.99) is in your neck.
C is correct because I believe the aura is a body part. In yoga, the aura (or energetic shadow) expands and pulsates in the "bliss mist."

Question #15

When you are performing the Swan Stretch (p.61), if you can't get your first arm behind you, what should you do next?
A. Ask a co-worker to try a half-Nelson.
B. Try anyway. It's the effort that counts--not the achievement.
C. Skip it and do a swan dive.

Answer
A has nothing to do with yoga--this is not a wrestling practice.
B is correct. The wise yoga practitioner knows this is the answer.
C will get you nowhere fast.

Question #16

What is a "perineum" (p.29)?
A. A close relative of a periwinkle.
B. When strengthened, it will put "adult diapers" out of business.
C. The Roman god of aqueducts.

Answer
A is not even close except as a homonym.
B is correct because strengthening the perineum (p.29) enhances flow control.
C is false--if there is a Roman god of aqueducts, she or he wasn't called "perineum."

Question #17

What is "fuzzy focus" (p.21)?
A. An hallucination.
B. A childhood toy.
C. A way to improve your eyesight.

Answer
All answers are correct.
A How does hallucinating differ from a business plan?
B A childhood toy is agreeably a fuzzy focus steeped in memories.
C Try a "fuzzy focus" now and feel your eye muscles relax with an increased blood flow to the eyes and an improved vision.

Question #18

What is the origin of the Office Yoga pose called Telecom Twist (p.103)?
A. Changing long distance carriers often.
B. Not needing rollers on your office chair.
C. A merger between the telephone company and the Communist Party.

Answer
A is incorrect--changing long distance carriers is time consuming and lacks any assured benefits as you will certainly get from the Telecom Twist.
B is the correct answer--when you perfect Telecom Twist you will be able to accomplish more than what the swivel on your chair has to offer. Besides you'll keep your flexibility with you when you leave the office.
C is incorrect--but if you've ever tried to speak with an actual human being when you phone a mega-utility, you can imagine that C has already occurred.

Question #19

What do you tell a colleague who wants to take your Office Yoga to the copy machine?

A. It has a copyright protected by a Sanskrit curse.
B. Diana's a friend of mine and she'd really be upset if I let you do that.
C. You look like you need your own copy.

Answer
A (a Sanskrit curse) is not necessary because in this world you get back what you put out.
B would please me. If you follow this guide to self-mastery, you may come to feel that B is true, too. We who are on the path of healthy life-styling constitute a mutual support group. In this regard, we are friends.
C might work, though you may want to try a more diplomatic response.

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The Wall Street Journal: "I'd give office yoga an 'A' for both the depth and duration of its effect on my stress."

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