During winter recess, millions of children will fly the unfriendly skies without their parents. Airplanes will take-off every day with kids being shuttled between the adults who share their custody and grandpa and great grandma, too.

For those who put a child on an airplane, the greatest anxiety may be that the child doesn't get where he or she is going.

Parents are rightfully concerned. The risk of getting lost is real. My research has uncovered many incidents of what the airlines call 'misplaced minors.'

MISPLACED MINORS

Here are a few examples: An 11-year-old girl was mistakenly sent to Orlando instead of Detroit. An 8-year-old arrived in Ontario instead of San Diego.

And a 7-year-old, booked to fly from San Francisco to Southern California, wound up in New York where an off-duty flight attendant gave her shelter for the night, then took her back to the airport the next day making sure she was on the right plane.

Frequently, flight attendants, for no extra pay, volunteer to help children flying alone. A flight attendant friend of mine escorted a little girl from the international terminal in Honolulu to the inter-island terminal. "I was going there anyway," she told me.

ABUSED MINORS

An additional concern for children flying without guardians is the fact that more than a few children have been abused while in the care of the airlines.

Of note, a new policy now endorsed by some airlines denies male passengers a seat next to a child if both are flying alone.

Critics of this new airline policy say it is an example of political correctness gone amuck.

But in aviation, there is a saying that "No regulation takes effect without somebody's blood on it," indicating here that the existence of problematic abusive seatmates is now severe enough for the airlines to acknowledge it.

Inappropriate actions occur mostly in darkened cabins on night flights, but also during transit stops.

For example, a 6-year-old boy got stuck in Minneapolis overnight due to bad weather. He was put in a hotel room unchaperoned with a 15-year-old boy. The child's mother subsequently spoke frankly on TV: "I want others to know what happened to my son before they put their children in this kind of situation."

UM

The airlines refer to children flying solo as "unaccompanied minors"(UM). UMs are between ages 5 and 11 or 14 (depending on the airline).

There is a misconception that the airlines will provide a baby-sitting service for UMs. What they provide is simply an airline-employee escort from the ticket counter or departure gate to the child's seat on board and, at the arrival airport, another escort off the plane to the adult picking them up."

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For this service, children are charged the full adult price for the ticket (not the discount they receive when traveling with adults) plus a surcharge that can be as much as $100 each way, depending on the length of the flight and if there are connecting flights.

SAFEGUARDING UMs

To reduce parental anxiety when relinquishing a child to an airline, here are some excellent strategies for parents and children:

1. Creating extended families. While waiting on line to check in, if you see families, ask if they are on the same flight--and introduce your child.

2. Strategic seating. Request a seat close to the galley so flight attendants are always within view.

-Ask for a window seat because the view is awesome.

-Do not choose a seat in a front row where there is no under-seat stowage for the child's carry-on, which needs to remain handy throughout the flight rather than inaccessibly stowed in an overhead bin.

3. Child's carry-on. Keep it light. Essentials to include:

-Child's photo ID and medical history.

-Cell phone for the child and your contact information.

-Picture of the person meeting the child with their name and phone number on the back.

-Some snacks. Food tips are a whole chapter in Jet Smarter.

-Games for the flight.

-A surprise.

4. No checked luggage. The fewer items kids have to keep track of, the better. Ship their clothes and things ahead. Eliminate checked bags and there's less running around for everybody.

5. Unaccompanied-minor application. When making your reservation, ask for the application to be mailed to you so you can have it filled out before you arrive at the airport. The form requires:

-Child's name, age, flight itinerary, allergies, medical problems.

-Your name, address, phone number.

-Person meeting the child: name, address, phone number.

6. Best flights for UMs. It's better to reserve a seat for your child on:

-Morning flights. If there is a delay, you have the rest of the day to regroup. Some airlines won't take UMs on the last flight of the day.

-Nonstop flights. Many airlines only permit UMs on nonstops. Negotiating a multi-stop flight with an airport transit can be tricky with long distances between terminals, and potential gate changes, delays, and cancelled flights. If there is any transit time between flights, some airlines put children in a room, with or without a chaperone, and the kids are calling this room "Kiddie prison."

7. From ticket counter to airplane seat. Due to airport security and depending on the airport, you may not be allowed to accompany your child to the departure gate. You can try. At the check-in counter, present your parental ID and request a "gate pass." Caution! Type A's, be polite, respectful, and keep your voice soft. If there's no gate pass, write down the name of the airline employee who is responsible to shepherd your UM through the airport security and boarding maze, and always make a note of the names of the captain and purser (chief flight attendant).

8. Watch takeoff. The person who brings the UM to the airport should wait there until the plane is airborne. Just because a plane has pulled away from the gate does not ensure it won't come back with a mechanical problem. Ask to be called on your cell phone in the event of an irregular operation (flight cancellation or delay). Check with an airline rep about 20 minutes after scheduled departure to see if the plane has, in fact, left. Delayed and cancelled flights are common in the airline industry, or the child may leave the flight for some reason before it departs. True story: An 11-year-old got off the plane with the flight attendant's permission to kiss his Dad goodbye, roamed the airport looking for Dad, then left the airport when security refused to allow him through the checkpoint, and walked home 30 miles. It took him six hours to get home.

9. After landing. The person who picks up the child at the destination airport may or may not be permitted to go to the arrival gate. With a photo ID, request a "gate pass" to meet the plane. After all the other passengers have disembarked, the child will be accompanied off. A release of custody will need to be signed.

10. Educate your child about what they can do by reading to them these important insider strategies just for children flying solo:

-As you step on the aircraft, ask the flight attendant who greets you at the doorway for permission to say "hello" to the pilots. Some pilots will let you hear the aircraft's bells and whistles--for real.

-Flight attendants know before you board that you will be on the flight. At least one should introduce herself after you are seated.

-On take-off, feel how the G-forces push you back in your seat and hear the engine roar.

-When the seat-belt sign goes off, notice the dinging sound. As long as the sign is off, you are free to walk around and flying is healthier when you exercise.

-Air vents above your seat: learn how to swivel them open for better air on board.

-Observe that turbulence isn't as wild as a roller coaster. For both, you need to buckle up.

-Don't be shy. If you don't understand something, or you just feel lonely, go to the kitchen, which is called "the galley."

-Older kids will enjoy a copy of Jet Smarter.

-After landing, remain seated. After all the other passengers have left, a uniformed airline employee will escort you off the plane and into the terminal, and stay with you until you meet the person who is picking you up.

It is my wish that these strategies will help both parents and children to prepare and micro-manage every aspect of the trip so they can become seasoned flyers and upgrade to smart class.

FROM READERS

"My nephew, 16, flew alone for the first time this past summer. His mother planned nonstop flights for him from Louisville-Phoenix, Phoenix-Louisville. Then he missed his flight out of Phoenix. They put him on a plane to Chicago, but there was no room on a flight to Louisville. When the airline decided to put him up for the night in a hotel in Chicago, he called his parents on his cell phone. They called ministers in our faith in Chicago, and a family picked him up and he spent the night with them. This was a scary experience, even for an older, brilliant child of 16. When we fly, I have my son "manage" us--figure out which gates, etc. preparing him to fly alone." -Julie