DEAR DIANA

"If passengers are held for hours and hours on an airplane, couldn't they get back to the terminal with some simple peaceful disobedience? If even 10% of passengers inflated their life jackets, the plane would have to return to the terminal, wouldn't it?" -Geoffrey Teabo

DIANA RESPONDS

Dear Geoffrey,

If you do inflate your vest as a way to get off the plane, and I don't even know if this would work, I suggest you first carefully examine the vest in its folded state, then refold it after you've used it because the airline may want to charge you money for refolding the life vest.

You know, the airlines may also charge you with "interfering with the duties of a flight attendant."

So be prepared to do jail time. These days, the airlines are very "serious": even grounding planes after a passenger makes a joke using the words "hijack" or "bomb."

Really! A year ago, in February 2006, a passenger claimed he was making a joke when he said he had a bomb in his bag. No joke. He was jailed for two months, banned from flying for six months, and the airline called him "irresponsible" and "reckless"!

Passengers certainly don't get any peace these days. It's ironic to note, though, that the Latin word for "peace," PAX, is the same as the airline abbreviation for "passenger." Airline employees refer to both a single passenger and many passengers as PAX. They say, "the Pax."

Similarly, there are dozens more abbreviations common in the airline industry. Here are two examples:
• PETC = pet in cabin
• TUC = "time of useful consciousness" i.e. during a decompression on board, the limited time we have to don an oxygen mask before we die from oxygen deprivation

The flying environment today has become very dangerous—with load factors higher than ever before, PAX can barely move or breathe.

But give me an uneventful flight any day.